ERRONEOUS WAY TO LOVE pt39

My heart pounded furiously as i tried to say
something, I opened my mouth but no word
came out. I swallowed hard and looked
away, deeply embarrassed and confused.
“Mary” Samuel called my name softly,
breaking my heart and flogging my soul
with his voice. He really behaved like a
good christian, very forgiving and caring,
making my conscience flog and bite me
without mercy.
The way he offered his help totally broke
me into two, i really couldn’t believe he was
ready to help after how i betrayed and
dumped him the previous year.
“I don’t deserve your help, sympathy or
anything, please just go, i beg of you” I
finally managed to mutter, shaking and
surprising him with my outburst.
“You are too proud and it isn’t good for a
girl” he said with a very sad face. I
breathed deeply and touched his left cheek,
“You are a very nice guy who deserves
something better. Seriously each time i look
at you, my conscience hurts because i
instantly remember all the bad things i did
to you, so accepting anything from you will
kill me, please just let me be, moreover i’m
not in any terrible situation that needs help,
believe me” I explained calmly. He bit his
lips and stood up.
“I broke my pride and most importantly i
did what every guy will frown upon, by
coming back to see you, but it’s okay” he
murmured regretably.
“Oh no Samuel don’t say that” I cried, stood
up and hugged him tightly, “you are a very
nice guy and i know God will repay you
somehow” I prayed,
“We don’t choose who we fall in love with,
it’s something that happens without
influence, and when it happens we leave
everything just to follow our heart.
Sometimes we end up with the wrong
person, but believe me that’s it” I poured
out as i held him tightly,
“And what happens to a guy who falls in
love with a girl who happens to love
another?” he asked,
“Seriously i can’t answer that” i murmured
with a heavy heart.
“I wronged you, i scammed your family and
broke their trust. I’ll be at your family
house next saturday to apologize and seek
forgiveness from your family” i heard
myself say. He instantly broke away from
me, stared into my eyes and rubbed his
face with his palms.
“Will you actually do that?” he asked
curiously,
“Of course i will, moreover it’s the only way
i can atone for my sins and be free from
the evil touch of misfortune which has
befallen me lately” i confessed.
Was there ever anything seen like love and
sorrow meeting together in a place?.
The pure love of Samuel’s noble heart, and
the keen sorrow in mine, brought sadness
more bitter than death upon us as we
stared at each other that fateful Sunday.
“Alright then, i have to get going”
Samuel muttered seriously. I nodded with a
faint smile,
“Thanks again for checking up on me, hope
you will be at home on Saturday?” i asked
meekly,
“Of course i will” he replied, breathed deeply
and turned to leave.
“Sam please wait” i begged nervously,
forcing him to stop, turn and stare at me
curiously,
“I have cute course-mates who will be
willing to have a relationship with a guy
like you, should i arrange one for you?” i
asked nervously. He breathed deeply and
shook his head,
“Never mind, thanks” he objected,
“Are you sure?” i asked seriously,
“Yea and i’m also very sure you will later
regret leaving the only boy that truly loved
you” he answered, turned and left without
another word.
______
I took a long shower, freshened up and had
a little nap. However a loud knock on my
door hours later, woke me up. I lazily
answered my door and smiled brightly as
my eyes fell on Mariam.
“Thank God you are back, i missed you
dear” i happily cried as we hugged each
other.
“Me too” she murmured happily.
Even though our friendship wasn’t as
strong as it used to be due to my strange
affair with Emmanuel, we still maintained a
little closeness and still shared a unique
bond which kept us together like sisters.
She never supported how i got back with
Emmanuel, but it never stopped me from
sharing my fears with her.
“Could you believe Emmanuel has a
daughter” i announced as she walked into
my room,
“Don’t say that, jeez!” she exclaimed with
surprise, settled down on my bed with both
hands on her jaw and listened keenly. I
calmly sat beside her and narrated the
latest story of my life to her.
“Damn this is so weird and unbelievable”
she murmured and shook her head after
listening to all i poured out,
“My dear i think you should run away from
that guy, unless you are willing to risk your
life over him. Moreover it isn’t too late for
you, since you havn’t given him much
commitment, nor slept with him after that
careless night you spend at his family
house last year” she advised seriously.
“You are right, but i just can’t do it, don’t
ask me why please” i said seriously. She
scoffed, shook her head and held my left
shoulder,
“I think you are being insanely stupid,
seriously” she scolded,
“you used to be a level headed, intelligent
girl, but it seems like you are getting stupid
as you grow older, please don’t take it the
wrong way, but i have to tell you the truth”
she added with a serious look.
“What is love without happiness?, and what
is happiness without a bright future?” she
asked, forcing me to look away in
confusion,
“There is no doubt you are love with
Emmanuel, but where is your happiness,
and how will your life turn out in few years
coming?” “This is no soap opera, we are
talking about your life. Youthful love fades
with time, but happiness and bright future
can make it last a life time” She advised
with burning eyes,
“You are like my sister my dear, and i know
you have a very good but weak heart, do
you think you stand a chance with Stella
and her numerous antics eeh?, answer me?,
moreover how are you sure Emmanuel won’t
abandon you at the last moment, because
he’s good at it?” she asked seriously. I
silently swallowed hard, lost in thought.
I was lost, disoriented and disorganised.
Instead of helping, Mariam choosed to
dismember me with her frightening
questions. But sometimes a truthful reality
is very painful and horrible to imagine.