LADIES, LET US TALK!

Written by (c) Bishop Ponle Alabi copeainc (R)

DEAR SISTER, IS THAT MAN MATURE ENOUGH TO BE YOUR HUSBAND?

1 Corinthians 14:20

The question of maturity is complex and quite daunting. He is 28 years Old or more and has a job(good or manageable) and he is really serious about marrying you...how do you know he is mature for marriage?

Hold on! Maturity is vital to the survival of your marriage. Maturity is the reason you will enjoy your courtship period without him throwing tantrums every time.

Maturity is the reason he will not be shouting or abusing you over the phone or in real life and when you get married.

Maturity is the reason he will defend you outside and in-front of his family members when the need arise.

Maturity is the reason he will be there with you to help you when the children start coming.

What then is maturity?

Let us start by knowing what maturity is not:
Maturity is not old age...some men are about 40 years Old and still living as a 10 year Old.

Maturity is not a good academic certificate...we have seen less than 15 year Old kids do very well in the university.

Maturity is not having a good paying job...your job isn't difficult but maintaining purpose takes a matured mind.

Job is what you get when solve someones else's problem, purpose is what you do when solving the problem that only you have been wired to do by divine arrangement.

AND MATURITY IS NOT THAT HE IS READY TO GET MARRIED. Some unwise girls assume when a man is ready for marriage, that means he is mature- NO, readiness for marriage is not maturity.

What then is maturity? Maturity is the state or quality of being fully developed and made ready to handle life with peace, joy and faith through wisdom, knowledge, experience and pursuit.

The Bible says in1 Corinthians 14:20; "Brothers, do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature." Maturity is a divine demand for life.

That means a 30 year Old may be developed and able to handle with joy, peace and faith the questions of life while a 60 year Old is still panicking. Wisdom, knowledge, experience and pursuit are the teachers for maturity.

Sometimes this maturity comes through crisis, sometimes through education, through impartation and through the pursuit of truth.

CHECK!

Is he mature?
1. What does he know about relationship? Does he still think relationship is a hit or miss...if your fiancée is still thinking that relationship is a game of Luck...he lacks understanding. It is about favour. Favour is what God plans, luck is what you find by chance.

2. Is he a model for young people who are trying to find their way in life? Look at your husband to be, can you find young people looking up to him for direction?

3. Does he have self control in words and acts or he blames you when he gets angry and abuse you and others? Any man who can't control his mouth, can't control his life.

4. Does he know how to communicate with you? Listen there is difference between having a conference and actually communicating.

Conference is when he calls you and gives you a list of what to do and not do, while communication is asking your counsel on issues. When you speak over the phone and all that happens is, "yes....yes....yes....ok....alright...bye bye" , that is a conference call.

5. Is he righteous in all his ways? Righteousness is all about doing right and you cannot do right without the word of God.

Some deceive themselves that since they fast & pray together, that is righteousness. Righteousness is about obeying God always.

A man who tells you what the Bible says or seeks the counsel of a discipler on what the Bible says as an enquirer is a righteous man.

6. Does he have trust issues? How comfortable is he when you are with your friends or even male colleagues. An immature man will continually expect you to explain your movement and will continue to show anger when you associate innocently with other males.
There is a fine line between jealousy and envy, it is TRUST. Anybody with trust issues, is somebody with secrets and he who can't trust others, sure can't trust himself.

LISTEN: HE MUST UNDERSTAND DIVINE CONCEPT ON RELATIONSHIPS, BE  A MODEL FOR OTHER'S, HAVE SELF CONTROL ESPECIALLY IN WORDS, MUST BE ABLE TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU IN WISDOM & RIGHTEOUSNESS & SHOW THE ABILITY TO TRUST YOU WITH OTHERS WITHOUT QUESTIONING YOUR INTEGRITY.

Now ask yourself if he is that mature to cope with marriage? Don't be deceived, if you marry a young boy in an Old man's body- someday his immaturity will bring you great anguish.

He won't listen to wisdom and will not stop acting like a child. Ask those who got married to people like that, they weep and cry everyday. You can change your life and future by listening to wisdom today.

WE WON'T CALL YOU FOOLISH FOR STOPPING WICKEDNESS IN YOUR MARRIAGE BY SAYING BYE-BYE TO AN IMMATURE MAN, BUT WE WILL SHAKE OUR HEAD WHEN WE HEAR OF YOU DILEMMA IN THE HANDS OF AN IMMATURE MAN.

Jesus offered us wisdom to become mature- accepting Him and listening to Him on all issues of our life. His death & resurrection is the example of obedience and maturity.

You will either become a model of grace or an example of disgrace in marriage...what will you choose? Choose life and live.

Shalom!