ERRONEOUS WAY TO LOVE pt28
Samuel’s family house
“Do you still love my son?” Samuel’s mum
asked seriously, scanning my face with her
eyes. I breathed deeply and nodded,
“Yes i still do mum” i murmured. But my
reply had no effect on her nor stopped her
curious eyes from running through me.
__________
I arrived Samuel’s house quite on time that
fateful day to assist the mum in preparing
lunch. Something i did out of obligation
and respect i had for the family.
However Samuel travelled home the
previous day, expecting me to travel with
him like we used to whenever i was visiting
his family, but i declined his request
leaving him totally surprised and scared. he
feared i would embarrass him by not
honouring his mum’s invitation, thus the
happiness and relief on his face when i
eventually showed up that fateful day.
His mum however was a bit cold and
reserved as she welcomed me. I knew as a
woman she really was very disappointed by
my behaviour, but perhaps was forced to
invite me because of her son whom she had
to set aside her personal feelings to please.
“Are you really sure about that?” she asked.
I breathed deeply, smiling nervously.
I really was glad she sent her son away
before questioning me, something only wise
mothers with good experience would do. I
equally felt she wasn’t listening nor paying
serious attention to my replies, but was
intently examining my facial expression
with each reply i gave, as if she was a mind
reader.
“If you are still in love with him as you
claim, why break up with him?” she queried.
I shrugged, calmed my excitement before
pouring out my own version of the story.
“Your story is similar to what he told me,
you both made mistakes so i see no sense
in your decision. My son is seriously hurting
and i can’t stand it any longer. But I have
ordered him never to beg you again because
relationships are not built with pity but
with good understanding, so tell me, how
long are you willing to put him on hold and
what’s your plan for the other boy?” she
asked inquisitively.
“Mum whatever will be will be, i promise to
work out things with your son but i need a
little more time to sort myself out. I still
love him” i replied, calmly avoiding saying
anything about Emmanuel. She shrugged
and smiled weakly.
I instantly knew she wasn’t convinced with
my reply, nor did i need anyone to tell me i
had failed her test. She really read through
me so easily. A strange gifted woman she
was.
She asked no other prying questions as i
spent the rest of the afternoon with them
before rushing back to my lodge amidst
Samuel’s pleas. I knew the way i left
without spending a single night with them
like i used to, further added weight to her
suspicions.
“Polluting Samuel’s mind would be her next
line of action” i reasoned.
I really was unable to sleep that fateful
night as i pondered over the whole affair.
By 12pm the next day, i was already on my
way to Emmanuel’s family house with weird
feelings in my heart.
“Whatever is written can never be
changed”—How foolish i was!
2pm Emmanuel’s family house .
Emmanuel, his mum and i sat at the
dinning table, eating the Sunday rice before
us. I was very nervous as i ate my own
share of the meal, and couldn’t help
praying for the lunch to end quickly.
“I’m really delighted you honoured my
invitation, you can’t imagine how pleased
i am” Emmanuel’s mum said to me sweetly,
while I blushed and said nothing.
“We really do have a lot to talk after the
meal, so relax and enjoy our hospitality”
she added quietly. I nodded with a calm
smile.
_________
My heart really pounded furiously as i
stepped into Emmanuel’s family house that
fateful Sunday. Guilt and fear totally
consuming me without warning. I would
have turned and ran back that moment, if
not for Emmanuels mum who came out of
the house, saw me and came forward
happily. The joy in her eyes as she came
running totally buried my guilt and fear.
“Daughter in-law” she greeted as she
hugged me.
________
Emmanuel hardly touched his food that
afternoon as he kept staring and pleading
with his eyes, but i pretended not to notice,
even though i very much understood his
plight.
______
A heavy rain however started immediately
after lunch. Lightening and thunder striking
like madness.
“Don’t worry dear, the rain will stop before
4pm” his mum assured me with a smile as
she led me to a sofa, while
Emmanuel excused himself to attend to
some areas of the building which was
leaking under the heavy rain, leaving his
mum all alone with me.
“I know all about your story with my son.
Trust me if i was in your shoes, i would
have poured hot water twice on him before
allowing him to explain himself. I really
don’t blame all you are doing to him, but i
swear by my honour, my son is really
suffering over this issue” she softly said,
held my hand and stared into my eyes.
“No matter how hard we try to fight or
pretend, the truth is that the memory of our
first love affair will always remain buried in
our heart. Our first love Is the root by which
other relationships stand and just like a
house will never stand without a
foundation, our life will be meaningless
without the story of how it all started. Our
first relationship really shapes and dictates
the direction of our future relationships.
Without it, i doubt if we will ever have the
wisdom nor experience to control our heart.
I do know your heart is beating furiously as
i speak to you and i equally know there is
doubt, confusion and uncertainty in it. This
is where an elder like me comes in, i will
never wish you bad nor decieve you,
because any agreement we arrive at will
equally affect my son either positively or
negatively” she lectured. I shook nervously
as i listened.
“What do you feel whenever you look at
him?” she asked searchingly. I swallowed
hard and shook my head.
“I don’t just know ma, i can’t describe what
i do feel, because it’s a mixture of hatred,
compassion, fear, anger and happiness” i
confessed. She breathed deeply with a
smile.
“You still love him my daughter, please
don’t fight it any longer” she pleaded with
wet eyes.
I knew she was very right, but i instantly
remembered Samuel. A boy who showed me
care and love when i needed it.
“I really can’t go back to your son because
i’m already with another person” i sobbed.
The good old lady closed her eyes, breathed
deeply and drew me to her chest
“I really do understand dear, because my
sister experienced the same thing when we
were teenagers” she murmured with a
broken voice. I instantly raised my face and
stared at her.
“Yes my dear, i speak with experience, the
best you can do for yourself is to follow
your heart, allow it to be the Judge.
Marriage is not something built on pity nor
sympathy, but something built on solid
love. Please dear let my words not look as
if I’m rushing you. There is still enough time
for you to think over everything. I have your
phone number, so reaching you won’t be a
problem, but just know that if you should
accept my son, we will quickly arrange the
marriage ceremony in no time” she
concluded with a smile, leaving me totally
lost and confused.
_________
The heavy rain finally stopped around
6:15PM messing up the road and making it
very unideal to thread on. I was stranded.
“Our road wasn’t this bad last raining
season. It’s as a result of the red soil
poured on it by the contractors handling
the construction” Emmanuel explained as
we stood outside minutes later.
I had insisted on leaving after the rain
stopped, declining his mother’s pleas for
me to sleep over, but looking at the road i
knew i wasn’t going anywhere that fateful
sunday evening.
8:45pm
His mum gave me an old lovely pink night
wear which i really didn’t know where she
got from. I thanked her, took my night bath
and relaxed in the guest room.
I was swiftly carried away by my thoughts
as soon as i laid down, that i never noticed
when Emmanuel came into the room, nor
when he sat on the bed.
“hey Mary” he greeted. I instantly sat up
and stared at him suspiciously. His smile
calm but intense.
“I will be heading straight to town as early
as 5AM tomorrow because of my work,
hope you can wake up by that time? So i
could drop you at your lodge, before going
for my own business, though it all depends
on our road. let’s just pray the road gets a
bit dry before dawn” he said calmly, but
before i could reply, a heavy thunder went
through instantly jolting us. Rain started
dropping on the roof once again.
“Oops” he exclaimed, while i smiled, even
though i had no reason to do so.
Before i knew what was happening, his lips
were on mine. I unknowingly surrendered
completely to him and he took advantage of
me once again.
Minutes Later
We silently laid beside each other, totally
exhaused and weak.
Finally the sense of deep peace that
overtook us during our lovemaking quickly
began ebbing away. The implications of
what had happened hit home and slapped
me intensely.
A tide of guilt and self loathing swept
throuh me.
“I have betrayed Samuel” i sobbed.
What really bittered me the most was that
Samuel never even went this far with me all
through the while we’ve been together. He’s
always wished we keep the love making
aspect till our wedding night. Here i am
giving it freely to someone who doesn’t
even deserve me. I was so ashamed of
myself.
“Do you still love my son?” Samuel’s mum
asked seriously, scanning my face with her
eyes. I breathed deeply and nodded,
“Yes i still do mum” i murmured. But my
reply had no effect on her nor stopped her
curious eyes from running through me.
__________
I arrived Samuel’s house quite on time that
fateful day to assist the mum in preparing
lunch. Something i did out of obligation
and respect i had for the family.
However Samuel travelled home the
previous day, expecting me to travel with
him like we used to whenever i was visiting
his family, but i declined his request
leaving him totally surprised and scared. he
feared i would embarrass him by not
honouring his mum’s invitation, thus the
happiness and relief on his face when i
eventually showed up that fateful day.
His mum however was a bit cold and
reserved as she welcomed me. I knew as a
woman she really was very disappointed by
my behaviour, but perhaps was forced to
invite me because of her son whom she had
to set aside her personal feelings to please.
“Are you really sure about that?” she asked.
I breathed deeply, smiling nervously.
I really was glad she sent her son away
before questioning me, something only wise
mothers with good experience would do. I
equally felt she wasn’t listening nor paying
serious attention to my replies, but was
intently examining my facial expression
with each reply i gave, as if she was a mind
reader.
“If you are still in love with him as you
claim, why break up with him?” she queried.
I shrugged, calmed my excitement before
pouring out my own version of the story.
“Your story is similar to what he told me,
you both made mistakes so i see no sense
in your decision. My son is seriously hurting
and i can’t stand it any longer. But I have
ordered him never to beg you again because
relationships are not built with pity but
with good understanding, so tell me, how
long are you willing to put him on hold and
what’s your plan for the other boy?” she
asked inquisitively.
“Mum whatever will be will be, i promise to
work out things with your son but i need a
little more time to sort myself out. I still
love him” i replied, calmly avoiding saying
anything about Emmanuel. She shrugged
and smiled weakly.
I instantly knew she wasn’t convinced with
my reply, nor did i need anyone to tell me i
had failed her test. She really read through
me so easily. A strange gifted woman she
was.
She asked no other prying questions as i
spent the rest of the afternoon with them
before rushing back to my lodge amidst
Samuel’s pleas. I knew the way i left
without spending a single night with them
like i used to, further added weight to her
suspicions.
“Polluting Samuel’s mind would be her next
line of action” i reasoned.
I really was unable to sleep that fateful
night as i pondered over the whole affair.
By 12pm the next day, i was already on my
way to Emmanuel’s family house with weird
feelings in my heart.
“Whatever is written can never be
changed”—How foolish i was!
2pm Emmanuel’s family house .
Emmanuel, his mum and i sat at the
dinning table, eating the Sunday rice before
us. I was very nervous as i ate my own
share of the meal, and couldn’t help
praying for the lunch to end quickly.
“I’m really delighted you honoured my
invitation, you can’t imagine how pleased
i am” Emmanuel’s mum said to me sweetly,
while I blushed and said nothing.
“We really do have a lot to talk after the
meal, so relax and enjoy our hospitality”
she added quietly. I nodded with a calm
smile.
_________
My heart really pounded furiously as i
stepped into Emmanuel’s family house that
fateful Sunday. Guilt and fear totally
consuming me without warning. I would
have turned and ran back that moment, if
not for Emmanuels mum who came out of
the house, saw me and came forward
happily. The joy in her eyes as she came
running totally buried my guilt and fear.
“Daughter in-law” she greeted as she
hugged me.
________
Emmanuel hardly touched his food that
afternoon as he kept staring and pleading
with his eyes, but i pretended not to notice,
even though i very much understood his
plight.
______
A heavy rain however started immediately
after lunch. Lightening and thunder striking
like madness.
“Don’t worry dear, the rain will stop before
4pm” his mum assured me with a smile as
she led me to a sofa, while
Emmanuel excused himself to attend to
some areas of the building which was
leaking under the heavy rain, leaving his
mum all alone with me.
“I know all about your story with my son.
Trust me if i was in your shoes, i would
have poured hot water twice on him before
allowing him to explain himself. I really
don’t blame all you are doing to him, but i
swear by my honour, my son is really
suffering over this issue” she softly said,
held my hand and stared into my eyes.
“No matter how hard we try to fight or
pretend, the truth is that the memory of our
first love affair will always remain buried in
our heart. Our first love Is the root by which
other relationships stand and just like a
house will never stand without a
foundation, our life will be meaningless
without the story of how it all started. Our
first relationship really shapes and dictates
the direction of our future relationships.
Without it, i doubt if we will ever have the
wisdom nor experience to control our heart.
I do know your heart is beating furiously as
i speak to you and i equally know there is
doubt, confusion and uncertainty in it. This
is where an elder like me comes in, i will
never wish you bad nor decieve you,
because any agreement we arrive at will
equally affect my son either positively or
negatively” she lectured. I shook nervously
as i listened.
“What do you feel whenever you look at
him?” she asked searchingly. I swallowed
hard and shook my head.
“I don’t just know ma, i can’t describe what
i do feel, because it’s a mixture of hatred,
compassion, fear, anger and happiness” i
confessed. She breathed deeply with a
smile.
“You still love him my daughter, please
don’t fight it any longer” she pleaded with
wet eyes.
I knew she was very right, but i instantly
remembered Samuel. A boy who showed me
care and love when i needed it.
“I really can’t go back to your son because
i’m already with another person” i sobbed.
The good old lady closed her eyes, breathed
deeply and drew me to her chest
“I really do understand dear, because my
sister experienced the same thing when we
were teenagers” she murmured with a
broken voice. I instantly raised my face and
stared at her.
“Yes my dear, i speak with experience, the
best you can do for yourself is to follow
your heart, allow it to be the Judge.
Marriage is not something built on pity nor
sympathy, but something built on solid
love. Please dear let my words not look as
if I’m rushing you. There is still enough time
for you to think over everything. I have your
phone number, so reaching you won’t be a
problem, but just know that if you should
accept my son, we will quickly arrange the
marriage ceremony in no time” she
concluded with a smile, leaving me totally
lost and confused.
_________
The heavy rain finally stopped around
6:15PM messing up the road and making it
very unideal to thread on. I was stranded.
“Our road wasn’t this bad last raining
season. It’s as a result of the red soil
poured on it by the contractors handling
the construction” Emmanuel explained as
we stood outside minutes later.
I had insisted on leaving after the rain
stopped, declining his mother’s pleas for
me to sleep over, but looking at the road i
knew i wasn’t going anywhere that fateful
sunday evening.
8:45pm
His mum gave me an old lovely pink night
wear which i really didn’t know where she
got from. I thanked her, took my night bath
and relaxed in the guest room.
I was swiftly carried away by my thoughts
as soon as i laid down, that i never noticed
when Emmanuel came into the room, nor
when he sat on the bed.
“hey Mary” he greeted. I instantly sat up
and stared at him suspiciously. His smile
calm but intense.
“I will be heading straight to town as early
as 5AM tomorrow because of my work,
hope you can wake up by that time? So i
could drop you at your lodge, before going
for my own business, though it all depends
on our road. let’s just pray the road gets a
bit dry before dawn” he said calmly, but
before i could reply, a heavy thunder went
through instantly jolting us. Rain started
dropping on the roof once again.
“Oops” he exclaimed, while i smiled, even
though i had no reason to do so.
Before i knew what was happening, his lips
were on mine. I unknowingly surrendered
completely to him and he took advantage of
me once again.
Minutes Later
We silently laid beside each other, totally
exhaused and weak.
Finally the sense of deep peace that
overtook us during our lovemaking quickly
began ebbing away. The implications of
what had happened hit home and slapped
me intensely.
A tide of guilt and self loathing swept
throuh me.
“I have betrayed Samuel” i sobbed.
What really bittered me the most was that
Samuel never even went this far with me all
through the while we’ve been together. He’s
always wished we keep the love making
aspect till our wedding night. Here i am
giving it freely to someone who doesn’t
even deserve me. I was so ashamed of
myself.
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