ERRONEOUS WAY TO LOVE pt29
destiny. This was destined to happen and
nothing would have stopped it from
happening” Emmanuel whispered to me, but
i really was inconsolable because i knew
what i did was beyond pardon.
“How do i face Samuel after this? How do i
stand in his presence, what will be his
reaction when he finds out” i wondered
sorrowfully.
“Baby stop crying, the deed has already
been done, it’s now left for us to mend the
rest” he pleaded,
“And how do you suggest we do that?” i
asked with tears.
“I’m very serious about marrying you, all i
need is just your consent, leave the rest for
me, it will be history in no time” he begged
passionately.
“I can handle myself. I perfectly knew what
i was doing when we made love”I said to
myself like a lost soul.
“Oh Mary stop talking nonsense” he
consoled and kissed my hair, “We are in
this together, count on me for anything” he
spoke calmly, making me stare into his
eyes. I saw sincerity, fear and uncertainty in
them.
“All i want is for you to be the mother of
my children, i say this with all sincerity,
open your soul to me baby. I need not only
your body, but your soul and spirit as well,
please make me yours” he begged.
“Emmanuel please let me be, i’m still very
troubled and confused” i sobbed.
“Why is it so difficult for you to accept me
my dear why?” he asked eagerly,
“Because i owe Samuel a lot, he was by my
side when you abandoned me, filled my
spirit when i was weak, and defended me
when you weren’t there” i poured out. He
instantly blushed,
“I may not be very much in love with him
like i used to, but i’ll still be loyal to him till
he sets me free” i added, while he stared at
me with a coloured face.
“What nonsense are you saying?” he asked
curiously with trembling lips,
“I’ll be very honest with him, i’ll confess
everything that happened tonight once i go
back to my lodge tomorrow. If he breaks up
with me over it, so be it, you can then have
your chance” i promised, leaving him in a
terrible shock.
“Are you out of your mind or what, surely
he will end things with you but i don’t think
he will let you go without first breaking your
head, the fury of a cheated guy is very
enormous my dear, are you trying to kill
yourself?, Mary what has come over you?”
he asked anxiously. I smiled painfully and
shook my head.
“That’s the only atonement i can offer, if he
kills me over it then you know we weren’t
destined to be together. Whatever will be
will be, my life is already messed up, i have
no reason to fear anymore” i murmured. He
quietly stood up with a very terrible sick
look and shrugged.
“Alright let’s see how it plays out, but my
dear i think you are not okay, your grief has
affected you badly” he murmured sadly.
“Whatever is written can never be changed,
if something happens to me, then know it
was destined to happen” i replied with a
weak smile. He nervously dressed up and
left without another word. So very shaken
he was as he left the room that fateful
night.
“MY God hope i’m not insane?” i prayed as
i waited for Monday…..
MONDAY 7:15AM
Emmanuel dropped me in front of my lodge.
I thanked him, opened the front passenger’s
door and tried to alight, but he quickly
grabbed my left hand and stared at me.
“please Mary i beg you, don’t do anything
silly” he pleaded. I smiled and shook my
head,
“As for my confession, i will go ahead with
it. Don’t you worry about me Emmanuel, i
can perfectly take good care of myself” i
assured him before alighting.
Walking into my room, i rehearsed all i
planned to tell Samuel. It really wasn’t easy
making up my mind for such deed, but like
i told Emmanuel, ‘nothing would stop me
from going ahead with it’.
Just like fate would have it, i ran into
Samuel at the staircase, he was going
downstairs to fetch water but instantly
froze when he saw me. There was suspicion
and relief in his eyes as they fell on me,
while i nervously returned his look and
greeted him.
“Mary where are you coming from?? I know
you aren’t coming from your house?” he
asked inquisitively.
“Of course i’m not coming from home” i
replied quietly, left him and climbed the
stairs. He quickly followed me, abandoning
the water he was on his way to get.
“So where went you?” he asked when we got
to my room.
“Do you really want to know?” i asked
calmly as i sat on my bed. He stood beside
me, scanning me intently with his eyes.
“Do i still owe you any explanation
concerning my movements? Isn’t our
relationship officially over?” i asked with a
dirty smile. He scoffed and bit his lips
“I see you are trying very much to harden
your heart, no problem but i still insist to
know” he muttered.
“Alright since you insist, i spent my Sunday
at Emmanuel’s family house and i’m just
coming from there” i opened up coldly. His
face instantly coloured. There was shock,
pain, disbelief and sadness in his eyes as
he stared at me.
“No it’s not true” he murmured with a
broken voice, sat on my bed and covered
his face with his palms. He never cried out
but i knew he weeped in his heart.
I stared at him clueless on what next to say
nor how to behave towards him. He sat
with his face covered for about fifteen
minutes before composing himself and
drawing close to me once again.
“Did he, did he touch, touch you?” he
nervously asked. I was instantly torn
between telling him the truth or lying to
him. My confusion left me silent which
equally confirmed his fear.
“Choi Mary, why, why nau??” he asked
murderously with unshed tears melting his
eyes. I was unable to stand his voice nor
gaze any longer. I quietly stood up and
backed him.
“I don’t deserve you Samuel, i really do care
about you, but i don’t understand my flesh
anymore nor the cravings in my heart.
Please free yourself from this torment and
permit me to get another girl for you” i
prayed with a fast pounding heart. But all
he did was just to shed his tears which he
very much struggled to hold, silently on my
bed. I was very touched and would have
cried beside him if not that i wanted him to
let me out of his life.
Patiently i waited for him to come around. I
knew only one thing could happen that
moment. Either he ends it like a man or
ends up humiliating me. No matter which
he chooses, i knew nothing would make him
want to continue with me.
Only a woman has the ability to send a
great man to his grave without lifting a
finger.
“But what really took you to his house?”
Samuel asked minutes later, after cleaning
his eyes.
“His mum invited me for a little chat, but
when i got there a heavy rain broke out and
i was forced to spend the night with them” i
answered calmly. He swallowed hard with
pain, his eyes soaked once again with
tears.
I really was uncomfortable watching him
cry, i never knew guys do cry for love nor
cry in such undignifying manner. Yes i was
very touched, but his tears only drew out
pity from me. Nothing more, nothing less.
I knew he was very hurt and disappointed,
but all i eagerly waited was for him to cut
the last rope loosely binding us.
“What do i do now?” he murmured
unhappily,
“It’s very obvious i do not deserve you,
please purge me from you heart and permit
me to find a suitable girl for you” i begged
calmly. He breathed deeply and covered his
face again.
“Seriously Mary, i don’t know why all these
are happening, we have a great relationship
going between us, and now you are
breaking my heart and making me the
laughing stock of everyone. I hate to love
you” he poured out bitterly, while i closed
my eyes as his furious words registered in
me.
“I gave you everything you wanted and you
are now paying me back with this unjust
behaviour, it’s very unfair” he cried and
stood up.
I anxiously stared at him with my hopes up.
I was very sure he was about leaving my
life for good. My eyes melted as i watched
him walk to the door. Truly he never
deserved such treatment.
He silently stood beside my door with his
left hand on the door knob for some
minutes, before turning to face me once
again. He stared intensely at me for a while
before advancing towards me with an
unhappy look.
“I can’t walk out from your life because of
this single mistake Mary, we have been
together for a long while and you haven’t
given me cause to complain till
Emmanuel showed up. I still do love you,
let’s just forget everything and start afresh.
I know you are acting the way you do
because you are very confused, however i
do appreciate your honesty, not every girl
will confess such a horrible deed. I do
prefer the devil i know than the saint i don’t
know. I still do love you, let’s start all over
again and put all that has happened these
past few weeks behind us” he calmly said
with a broken voice and eyes filled with
tears, as he squatted by my side. I was
deeply stunned, shocked, surprised and
moved.
I never expected such response from him. It
truly left me a bit relieved, disappointed
and happy. Infact my confusion reached its
peak that moment.
I WAS LOST
-To be continued-
nothing would have stopped it from
happening” Emmanuel whispered to me, but
i really was inconsolable because i knew
what i did was beyond pardon.
“How do i face Samuel after this? How do i
stand in his presence, what will be his
reaction when he finds out” i wondered
sorrowfully.
“Baby stop crying, the deed has already
been done, it’s now left for us to mend the
rest” he pleaded,
“And how do you suggest we do that?” i
asked with tears.
“I’m very serious about marrying you, all i
need is just your consent, leave the rest for
me, it will be history in no time” he begged
passionately.
“I can handle myself. I perfectly knew what
i was doing when we made love”I said to
myself like a lost soul.
“Oh Mary stop talking nonsense” he
consoled and kissed my hair, “We are in
this together, count on me for anything” he
spoke calmly, making me stare into his
eyes. I saw sincerity, fear and uncertainty in
them.
“All i want is for you to be the mother of
my children, i say this with all sincerity,
open your soul to me baby. I need not only
your body, but your soul and spirit as well,
please make me yours” he begged.
“Emmanuel please let me be, i’m still very
troubled and confused” i sobbed.
“Why is it so difficult for you to accept me
my dear why?” he asked eagerly,
“Because i owe Samuel a lot, he was by my
side when you abandoned me, filled my
spirit when i was weak, and defended me
when you weren’t there” i poured out. He
instantly blushed,
“I may not be very much in love with him
like i used to, but i’ll still be loyal to him till
he sets me free” i added, while he stared at
me with a coloured face.
“What nonsense are you saying?” he asked
curiously with trembling lips,
“I’ll be very honest with him, i’ll confess
everything that happened tonight once i go
back to my lodge tomorrow. If he breaks up
with me over it, so be it, you can then have
your chance” i promised, leaving him in a
terrible shock.
“Are you out of your mind or what, surely
he will end things with you but i don’t think
he will let you go without first breaking your
head, the fury of a cheated guy is very
enormous my dear, are you trying to kill
yourself?, Mary what has come over you?”
he asked anxiously. I smiled painfully and
shook my head.
“That’s the only atonement i can offer, if he
kills me over it then you know we weren’t
destined to be together. Whatever will be
will be, my life is already messed up, i have
no reason to fear anymore” i murmured. He
quietly stood up with a very terrible sick
look and shrugged.
“Alright let’s see how it plays out, but my
dear i think you are not okay, your grief has
affected you badly” he murmured sadly.
“Whatever is written can never be changed,
if something happens to me, then know it
was destined to happen” i replied with a
weak smile. He nervously dressed up and
left without another word. So very shaken
he was as he left the room that fateful
night.
“MY God hope i’m not insane?” i prayed as
i waited for Monday…..
MONDAY 7:15AM
Emmanuel dropped me in front of my lodge.
I thanked him, opened the front passenger’s
door and tried to alight, but he quickly
grabbed my left hand and stared at me.
“please Mary i beg you, don’t do anything
silly” he pleaded. I smiled and shook my
head,
“As for my confession, i will go ahead with
it. Don’t you worry about me Emmanuel, i
can perfectly take good care of myself” i
assured him before alighting.
Walking into my room, i rehearsed all i
planned to tell Samuel. It really wasn’t easy
making up my mind for such deed, but like
i told Emmanuel, ‘nothing would stop me
from going ahead with it’.
Just like fate would have it, i ran into
Samuel at the staircase, he was going
downstairs to fetch water but instantly
froze when he saw me. There was suspicion
and relief in his eyes as they fell on me,
while i nervously returned his look and
greeted him.
“Mary where are you coming from?? I know
you aren’t coming from your house?” he
asked inquisitively.
“Of course i’m not coming from home” i
replied quietly, left him and climbed the
stairs. He quickly followed me, abandoning
the water he was on his way to get.
“So where went you?” he asked when we got
to my room.
“Do you really want to know?” i asked
calmly as i sat on my bed. He stood beside
me, scanning me intently with his eyes.
“Do i still owe you any explanation
concerning my movements? Isn’t our
relationship officially over?” i asked with a
dirty smile. He scoffed and bit his lips
“I see you are trying very much to harden
your heart, no problem but i still insist to
know” he muttered.
“Alright since you insist, i spent my Sunday
at Emmanuel’s family house and i’m just
coming from there” i opened up coldly. His
face instantly coloured. There was shock,
pain, disbelief and sadness in his eyes as
he stared at me.
“No it’s not true” he murmured with a
broken voice, sat on my bed and covered
his face with his palms. He never cried out
but i knew he weeped in his heart.
I stared at him clueless on what next to say
nor how to behave towards him. He sat
with his face covered for about fifteen
minutes before composing himself and
drawing close to me once again.
“Did he, did he touch, touch you?” he
nervously asked. I was instantly torn
between telling him the truth or lying to
him. My confusion left me silent which
equally confirmed his fear.
“Choi Mary, why, why nau??” he asked
murderously with unshed tears melting his
eyes. I was unable to stand his voice nor
gaze any longer. I quietly stood up and
backed him.
“I don’t deserve you Samuel, i really do care
about you, but i don’t understand my flesh
anymore nor the cravings in my heart.
Please free yourself from this torment and
permit me to get another girl for you” i
prayed with a fast pounding heart. But all
he did was just to shed his tears which he
very much struggled to hold, silently on my
bed. I was very touched and would have
cried beside him if not that i wanted him to
let me out of his life.
Patiently i waited for him to come around. I
knew only one thing could happen that
moment. Either he ends it like a man or
ends up humiliating me. No matter which
he chooses, i knew nothing would make him
want to continue with me.
Only a woman has the ability to send a
great man to his grave without lifting a
finger.
“But what really took you to his house?”
Samuel asked minutes later, after cleaning
his eyes.
“His mum invited me for a little chat, but
when i got there a heavy rain broke out and
i was forced to spend the night with them” i
answered calmly. He swallowed hard with
pain, his eyes soaked once again with
tears.
I really was uncomfortable watching him
cry, i never knew guys do cry for love nor
cry in such undignifying manner. Yes i was
very touched, but his tears only drew out
pity from me. Nothing more, nothing less.
I knew he was very hurt and disappointed,
but all i eagerly waited was for him to cut
the last rope loosely binding us.
“What do i do now?” he murmured
unhappily,
“It’s very obvious i do not deserve you,
please purge me from you heart and permit
me to find a suitable girl for you” i begged
calmly. He breathed deeply and covered his
face again.
“Seriously Mary, i don’t know why all these
are happening, we have a great relationship
going between us, and now you are
breaking my heart and making me the
laughing stock of everyone. I hate to love
you” he poured out bitterly, while i closed
my eyes as his furious words registered in
me.
“I gave you everything you wanted and you
are now paying me back with this unjust
behaviour, it’s very unfair” he cried and
stood up.
I anxiously stared at him with my hopes up.
I was very sure he was about leaving my
life for good. My eyes melted as i watched
him walk to the door. Truly he never
deserved such treatment.
He silently stood beside my door with his
left hand on the door knob for some
minutes, before turning to face me once
again. He stared intensely at me for a while
before advancing towards me with an
unhappy look.
“I can’t walk out from your life because of
this single mistake Mary, we have been
together for a long while and you haven’t
given me cause to complain till
Emmanuel showed up. I still do love you,
let’s just forget everything and start afresh.
I know you are acting the way you do
because you are very confused, however i
do appreciate your honesty, not every girl
will confess such a horrible deed. I do
prefer the devil i know than the saint i don’t
know. I still do love you, let’s start all over
again and put all that has happened these
past few weeks behind us” he calmly said
with a broken voice and eyes filled with
tears, as he squatted by my side. I was
deeply stunned, shocked, surprised and
moved.
I never expected such response from him. It
truly left me a bit relieved, disappointed
and happy. Infact my confusion reached its
peak that moment.
I WAS LOST
-To be continued-
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