RECEIVING END! GIVING END!!!

"If you can't call me first thing in the morning, then let's end this relationship because quality time is my love language, I love to know you think of me first thing in the morning". This was me talking to my fiance that fateful day.

You see, he always had a busy morning schedule in all fairness yet he tried at every opportunity he had. He had to wake up as early as 4 a.m to beat morning traffic after getting home late into the night because of this same traffic. Most times, he called me around 10a.m after clearing the workload on his desk in the morning. Some days he called me while on transit but we could barely hear each other. I was a student and would most times be in the lecture room by the time he is calling and so we end up not speaking to ourselves until afternoon. I was seriously vexed. I felt I was of a lesser priority to him.

So this fateful afternoon after I threatened to call off the relationship. I was in my room when the Holy Spirit ministered to my heart. He asked me just one question; "What stops you from calling him in the morning since his early morning schedules are tight and yours are a bit free?"
I really do not understand where I got the notion that it's the man who should do the calling, he should be the one showing me the care while mine is to respond after all it's a man's duty to woo a lady and even in the relationship the wooing must continue😉. This false notion made me practically wait all morning to see what time he will call me.

Funnily, I was a very poor caller (Still a poor caller), I hardly gave him a call and I was there doing time keeper and monitoring the times he called, the times he didn't and the time of the day he did.

I resolved to turn the table around. I started calling him and surprisingly he had also started making efforts to call me earlier.

Friend, sometimes we complain about certain things we do not receive from others only to realize we are not even giving what we are demanding for. We complain about how we are treated not knowing we are treating others the same way.

You want love, give love
You want respect, be the first giver
You want gifts, buy some for others too.
You want honour, sincerely honor others.

Don't go around saying "you didn't even ask after me" when you also did not ask after the person.

In a healthy relationship, both parties don't give 50-50, everyone brings in their 100%

I understand that there are times we have repeatedly offered what we demand but it's not being reciprocated, at this point you are justified to express your grievances. But if you haven't given what you desire to receive, don't bother to complain. Look inward first!

Change happens not when we EXPECT but when we ACT. Be the change you desire to see!!!

Written by Damilare Olabisi David
Regen Relationship-Clinic

CC
Damilare Mike David
Olabisi David

SMCC
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